What's up?

Oh, I know my posts are getting sparse these days. The truth is I am struggling lately. I don't know if you remember about 6 months ago we lost a dear friend to cancer. It was shocking and horrible and he was way too young to die. It's still hard to get my head around that one and we miss him so much.
One of our closest friends has recently started palliative care at home, she's so very sick and it's impossible to accept. Monday is the day I go and spend with her. We talk and I clean and tidy and sometimes cook and we visit and catch up and gossip and sometimes we cry. I love these days and I feel like it's a special gift, being able to spend time with her, I am so grateful.
It's when I don't see her that the anxiety and the deep sadness starts and it's getting harder and harder to surmount. There's not much else to say except, 2008 has not been a great year. It's all been pretty tough, marriages ended and lives ended and some things felt harder than they needed to be. I am an optimistic person and I'm good at looking on the bright side most of the time but I'm still waiting to see the bright side here. She's my friend and she's a wife and she's a daughter and she's a mother and it doesn't matter how many times I say it's not fair it keeps getting worse.
Sorry for the sad post.