Did you feed the cat?

As I mentioned in an earlier post I am house/cat sitting in White Rock while my MIL is abroad. I have been able to spend quite a bit of time here at the condo and a funny thing happened the other morning. I found some nice fresh LOCAL strawberries in the village and I bought a big basket. These were delicious strawberries, red all the way through juicy and sweet. I started cutting them up and realized I couldn't possibly eat them all. I decided to take the rest across the hall the the people who my MIL had arranged to feed the cat when I couldn't be here, let's call him Parquet.

I knocked on the door and the gentleman of the house opened the door and invited me in. I sat and visited with him for about 10 minutes. He told me some stories about his life, how he had worked as an electrical engineer in just about every corner of Canada. I enjoy visiting with old people sometimes, he is 86, let's call him Bill. One thing I started to notice almost right away was that he had a really hard time remembering things, he couldn't remember the name of one of his kids, it never did come to him.

Later that evening the lady of the house, let's call her Edna, called and apologised for forgetting to look after the cat. I told her there was no need for her to look in on him because I had been there the whole time. My MIL has already been gone a week. She asked me if he could come over and see where everything was so I took her through the process. I showed her where the food was and explained how much he was allowed to have, all the details. When she was in the condo she just started going from room to room and checking out the decor and commenting on the better view etc. I explained that wouldn't be needing her until the weekend and I would call her and let her know. Eventually, she left.

The next morning I am sleeping, like a baby. One thing I haven't mentioned is that it's just so quiet and the air so fresh, I am having some of my best sleeps ever. Anyway, I'm dreaming away when I hear the front door open and somebody walk into the apartment. I didn't panic or anything I just hollered out, "Hello!" It's Edna, she walks into the room I'm sleeping in, a very small room and stands there and asks me how I am, and sorry she forgot when she was supposed to feed the cat. "Not today, because I am here, I will call you when I need you . Thanks though." She then walked through my room into the sun room and started visiting the cat. She seemed a little confused but perfectly at home. Se walked back through my room stopped and talked to me again and finally decided to leave. I just lay in the bed, I couldn't move because of my pajamas problem. I don't wear them.

Edna was just supposed to feed the cat twice while I was back in the city. She went through at least double the amount of cat food she was supposed to feed him. Parquet is a fat cat and he ate too much. Now he has started barfing. Last night and just now.

I like cats way better when they are not barfing.

I hope he is okay.

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

OMG our apartment is HOT. Fourth floor, morning sun, no air conditioning. Right now it's ridiculous, the thermometer on the deck says it's over 50/120 degrees out there. The mercury is at the very top, when I was a kid I thought that it would explode out of the top just like in the cartoons. Just sitting here typing this is causing me to break a drippy sweat. Ugh.

Anyway, enough about that it's probably hot where you are too.

Yesterday was a great day. I came back to town from White Rock and we hit the very last of the season Rockabilly Jam at the world famous Railway Club and it was fabulous. All the scene-sters were there and much beer was consumed and great tunes played by some of Vancouvers best musicians. I got up with a couple of my BFFs and we pulled off a few big harmony singin' tunes with the band. I also got up with Superman and helped him rip off a pretty sweet set, lots of energy and the folks were digging it too.

The jam starts at 4:30 so by 8:30-9 pm we are usually spent and pretty loaded but this was to be one of those magical evenings that doesn't want to stop. A last minute invitation to a good friends house for more jamming, more drinking and more fun. There were 8 of us sitting in a beautiful back garden in East Van, playing music together, lots of guitars and even a stand up bass to make it all more magical.

You know, these things can't be planned, these moments of sharing music in a completely perfect environment with everybody having something of value to add to the sound and the experience. I'm talking about 4 part harmony that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Sad, lonely, love lost songs that bring a lump to your throat. Gospel songs about saying goodbye to your mother before the good Lord takes you home. Honky-tonk songs about forgetting to go home and choosing the booze the floozies and a pack of smokes over the one who's waiting for you at home...and Sunday Mornin' Coming Down. That song just speaks for itself. Whenever we sing it on a Saturday night I know I'm going to be feeling a little like that on Sunday morning. And I do.

Are you still there?

Hi Bloggy, I missed you. I am trying to take myself away from the computer and the tv here in the land of sun and old people. Did I mention it's been sunny?

I have tried to adapt to the people here. I only listen to big band music on the tv/stereo channel thingy. I went to the Just Friends cafe, Superman told me they were super nice there and would be all chatty and stuff. They weren't, but that's okay I don't need stories with my eggs.

I noticed a consignment shop across the street so after breakfast I popped in to have a look. I thought the shop was nice and very well organised. Having done consignment myself in the past I appreciated the way it was all done. It's not an easy job. There was a cute sign over the mirror by the fitting rooms it said Your Husband Called He Said Buy Whatever You Want. When I went to pay for my purchase I said to the lady that I thought it was a cute sign she said, "uh huh". I've run into a couple of the people living here during my comings and goings and even though I say Hi to everyone I'm lucky to get a nod in return. Oh well, they probably think I am going to have wild parties here and bring down the property values.

It's been interesting getting used to being alone so much. When I took myself out to dinner the other evening a couple of old gals came and sat by me. It was cute they ordered one meal to share and then had desert. The whole time they sat there speaking softly to each other and giggling. It made me think that I would probably be doing the same thing at that age. Hanging out with my BFF splitting hamburgers and giggling. Very sweet.

Yesterday the cat seemed a bit off. He's a big fat yellow tabby and it's not like he does much anyway. yesterday he did even less. Last night he was up to his shenanigans, clawing the rug and taking huge smelly shits in his litter box. This morning he went to the deck and started chawing down on a bean plant. Then the barfing started. I won't describe the sound but it took me awhile to figure out what i was hearing. He left me a couple of "parcels" and seemed a bit better. After I got out of the shower I couldn't find him. I looked everywhere and was starting to freak out. He couldn't get out of the apartment. I finally found him under the bed and he looked sad. He's finally come out and seems okay.

Is this normal cat behaviour??

Is today Seniors Day?

First off I want to apologise for not writing for a few days, I was busy switching gears. As of right now I am on a vacation of sorts. I am cat sitting for my mother-in-law in beautiful White Rock, British Columbia. I am staying in her two bedroom condo with the ocean views and the fat orange cat and I am finding it to be a bit of an adjustment. First of all it's quiet, eerily quiet. Since I have been here I haven't heard a dog bark, squealing tires, a car alarm or even a raised voice. It's just silence and the odd screech of a seagull. Compared to living on a very busy major artery in Vancouver this is like hanging out in a library.

Then there are the seniors. They are all here. The building I am staying in is seniors only, in three days I have run into one person in the underground parking area. I felt the need to tell her I was house sitting and she wanted to know who for. She was a bit snippy with me until I mentioned I was looking after the cat and then she softened right up. She also has a cat.That's nice.

I miss a few things being here, it's anywhere from a 45 minutes to an hour away from my place. I have to cross a bridge and go through a tunnel, lots of traffic if I don't time it just right. I also miss my huge closet full of clothes. I miss my wardrobe, is that bad? I showed up here with a suitcase and a bag and quickly realized that I had brought more cosmetics and beauty products with me than my MIL owned in her whole life. My MIL lives simply and frugally unlike myself. I am going to try to embrace this style of living. I'm not going to worry about what I wear, just be casual in shorts and tee shirts. I'm going to try and plan simple, healthy meals, take long walks everyday, spend as much time as I can on the beach and read some good books. I am also looking forward to having some of the girls over for a sip and bitch.

I also miss Superman and his Super Parts. Oh well, it's only been a couple of days.

I will try to update every day and hopefully find that connector thingy for my camera so I can upload some pictures.

Still waiting for the sunshine...

This bud's for who?

Get comfy now girls and boys, I want to tell you a story. This is a true story!

For years I played softball on a team that was sponsored by a local social/athletic club/bar. We were a close bunch and we would have these huge "wind-up" parties at the end of the season at a friends 5 acre ranch on The Sunshine Coast. We would all bring our tents and plan elaborate meals, play boccie ball and baseball and drink and smoke and generally have a great time at these long weekend piss ups. Good times.

One year a bunch of us had gone up on the early ferry to set up the camp and pick the best camp spots. The area that we camped on was about a third of the property but the only part that was cleared into a yard. A large part of the property was full of a local weed called Broom, it's kind of a straggly tree that gets brilliant yellow flowers in the spring and develops dry seed pods in the summer. The bushes were about 6 feet tall and had paths cut through leading to various areas on the property. Just after we had pulled into the yard to start setting up our tents and such a cop car drove into the yard and parked right in the area we were in, beside the brush. Our friend went over to talk to the two policemen who got out of the car, they spoke quietly and then the three of them started off into the brush without saying a word to anyone. We all stood there for about 10 minutes wondering what the hell was going on when all three of them walked out of the bush dragging these bushes.

Those are healthy 4 or 5 foot budding pot plants. British Columbia's finest bud.
Our friend was just laughing and we were all wondering what the hell was up because nobody seemed the least bit upset. It turned out that the mystery was ridiculously easy to figure out. Another part of the property had a trailer home on it that our friend rented to a local guy who's teenage son had recently come to live with. We made our way into the bush and followed a well trod path that veered off towards the back of the property. There was a clearing with about 20 garbage cans, each one sporting a big healthy plant. Then we noticed a garden hose trailing from the area and stretching all the way across the bush and ending up connected to the trailer that the kid lived in. I turns out weeks earlier everybody in the area had their garbage cans stolen off the street on garbage day. Everybody. This is in a pretty rural area, there are only houses on one side of the street and forest on the other. One morning, not a trash can in site. hmmmmm The police had seen the area with the plants from overhead when they were doing a fly-over, looking for grow ops I guess.
The cops dragged all of the harvested weed over to the car and started stuffing it into the trunk of their cruiser. This is what it looked like when they closed the trunk.

Yup! That's how they drove the car back into town. I love this picture. I have tried to protect the identity of everybody involved but I wish you could see the full expression on the uniformed cops face. It's priceless.

Well we had a good chuckle about the whole thing that's for sure. Later that evening the little prick that grew the weed came around and asked if anyone had any idea what had happened to his dope. We told him the cops came and cut it down. The kid was shitting full sized bricks. He left for a while and then he came back and asked if anyone had any proof of what had happened. It turns out that he was growing the weed for an associate who was not going to be so understanding about the missing plants. He was looking at an ass kicking for sure.

One of the guys there took the above pictures and after letting the kid sweat it out for a while finally emailed the picture to the kid so he could show it to his associate and avoid a spanking.

As far as I know, no charges were laid.

Only in BC.

I love that story.

What's for dinner?

Such a busy weekend. Too busy for me but I had the day off today to clean up a bit and recover from all the shenanigans. I spent the afternoon with a BFF having a yummy salad and hearing all about her trip to Paris. *sigh* Paris.

She brought me some fantastic little gifts including a little metal Eiffel Tower a naughty French postcard and a lovely tin of orange/anise flavoured bon-bons. She knows me so well!

So what's for dinner tonight?

We were so ready for a healthy meal and we were definitely feeling the lack of vegetables and roughage in our diet this weekend so with that in mind we set off for the grocery store. I didn't really feel like doing a lot of cooking and just wanted something easy, healthy and quick, so here it is. Turkey burgers, coleslaw and beans.

Here's how I make it yummy..It's all about the coleslaw. I buy packaged coleslaw with just shredded green and purple cabbage, and carrots To that I added chopped green onion, chopped granny smith apple, sunflower seeds and sprouted beans. To that I added an organic peanut, tamari salad dressing. Mix and serve. Yummy and healthy too.

I know that this isn't anything fancy or tricky but I always have trouble trying to fix something easy, healthy and fast.

What's your favourite easy, healthy and fast dinner?

Who's your daddy?

It's been a busy weekend already and we're not done yet. Friday evening we played the Country Fair in Surrey and all in all it was a lot of fun. The only thing country about it was us.
I find it really fascinating to watch how people react to live music at public events. At one point I had my camera onstage and I was snapping photos of the crowd. It reminds me that there are a LOT of people that never see live music, they don't go to clubs to catch their favourite band or they are too young to have experienced it.
At one point in the show I looked over and I saw this little guy had come up on the stage. Right away I thought there might be a problem. Superman once told a kid to get off the stage at a public event like this and was confronted by an angry parent who didn't like the way he talked to his kid. All he said was, "Get off the stage, kid". The kid wasn't upset but her Daddy was. The difference with the kid on stage this time was that he was just standing on the very edge and he never moved from that spot. He also had a little plastic guitar, and he was jamming with the band. I really think he thought he was playing, he was dead serious about the whole thing. It was pretty cute. And nobody got hurt...feelings.

Saturday was spent at a wake for a dear friend of ours who was taken from us after a really awful battle with cancer. He was way too young to go.
The wake was filled with friends, family, journalists and editors. It was just what I would want at my own wake. A bunch of people that knew me from all different aspects of my life telling stories and laughing at what a character I was. It was really beautiful, and a necessary part of dealing with a tragic death I think.
It was also a bit of a piss up and after many pints of beer and some single malt scotch in honour of our friend, we ended up at a barbeque joint drunk and hungry. Damn, we were hungry. There were four of us and we ordered some sort of platter with every kind of meat. I forgot to take a picture of the meal before we had a go at it but I found one online. The after picture was pretty gruesome.You may choose to look away if you are squeemish.

It started out looking like this- in no time at all it looked like this.

This morning we are thinking it wasn't such a great idea. It was pretty yummy though.

In a couple of hours we are off to the valley to spend the afternoon with my family and my wonderful Big Daddy.

Happy Father's Day Big Daddy!!!

...and all you other Daddies out there too!

How'd we meet?

After I moved away from my gay friends and tried an unsuccessful living arrangement with myself in an apartment that cost over half of my monthly pay, before taxes, I made my best move ever. I moved in to a cool, big old house with my cousin, and 2 or 3 of her BFF's that she had grown up with in small town Northern BC. I was about 3 years younger than all of them so they kind of looked after me. I needed to learn some basic adult skills like how to pay my bills and make a full meal out of a can of tuna and a cup of rice. I was as poor as I ever want to be that first summer. In fact I got laid off shortly after I moved in and was quite happy to take the summer off and let the government look after me. It was a fine, fine summer.

Two of my roommates were struggling actors trying to make a go in the big city. They would save all their money for acting classes and audition for anything and everything. This was before Vancouver was considered Hollywood North, I'm going to say 1987-88.

Having fuck all to do that summer, it was decided that I would help these two young actresses write an original show for the Fringe Festival that summer. Even though I had very little acting experience they thought I was funny so I decided to give it a shot. We wrote a pretty funny show that was a series of sketches each morphing into the next. One reviewer called it Gilda Radner-esque. We were pretty happy about that.

The show ran at the very beginning of the festival and I had just discovered the Fringe Club, a place to drink and watch hundreds of actors talk about themselves. Did I mention I was single, 22 and cute? ***********************************************************************

Sorry, I just drifted away there. One of my girlfriends had just started dating this notorious Russian, biker looking, intense, musician, crazy, amazing actor guy. She was a little overwhelmed by him so she took me with her on their first couple of dates. So, I'll set the scene. We are walking up the sidewalk to the Fringe Club and I see this tall, blond drink of water coming towards us, black jeans motorcycle boots and a knee length black leather coat flapping in the breeze. My crazy Russian friend introduces us, I pour on the charm. Nothing. We go into the club, I continue to pour on the charm. Nothing. This guy was paying no attention to me at all.

Through the course of the festival we would shut down the Club and wander off to find house parties in the neighbourhood. Superman lived in a notorious house called The House Of Fun, and it was. This place was close to everything but had no neighbours! It was flanked by a street, a church and across the street from a funeral home. It was the perfect party house. One night a bunch of us piled into a friends car to go party at The House Of Fun, I had to sit on Superman's lap. It was then that I noticed that he was starting to take an interest in me.

We smooched that night/early morning and he tried to get me to go upstairs with him. I told him I wanted to go home, take a shower, sleep for a few hours and I would call him. I did just that. He came to my place, and the rest as they say, is history.

That's the Reader's Digest condensed version.

More later.

OMG I was looking for a pic to post and I found this. It was labeled, "Superman's Greatest Sacrifice"! Woo Hoo, can't stop laughing. Sooo funny.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I'm in need of some excitement in my life these days. Going to work, coming home, making dinner watching movies or just regular TV is nice once in a while but too many days in a row makes me crazy. I don't do well with too much routine, it makes me bored and when I'm bored I get anxious. I get the "is that all there is" feeling and as Jeff Kay would say, "I can't have that".

When I was in my 20's I was already with Superman. I had been in a very bad relationship back home that taught me a lot of hard lessons fast and being in a small town and running into your ex and his new girlfriend everyday was starting to get old. I moved to the big city and tried to make my way. I lived with a high school buddy and his boyfriend in the West End of Vancouver for the first few months. It was fun but after a while buddy's boyfriend was tired of having me around and I realized was never going to meet a nice straight boy in Canada's gay capitol. So I moved to the East Side and the rest is history. How do you describe 20 or so years of your life especially when it takes you from you 20's into your (just barely) 40's. I kind of feel like it might be as interesting as having someone describe the strange dream they just had. Interesting to them but mind numbingly boring to me. I'll try to just stick to the interesting parts. haha

Yah, I'm grasping here. I should have some good stuff after our gig at the Country Fair Friday night. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures.

Stay tuned for exciting stories like, Why no babies? Un-wedded bliss. How close did we get to "making it" with our 90's original, alternative rock band? How to start a business with almost nothing. How do I define success? Do I think my life is interesting? I sure do.

Yup, I suuuuuuuuuure do...

Ummmmmm...

Why don't you tell me what you want to hear about next?

I Spent this evening at a band practice for a country fair we are playing on Friday. In a garage. Old Skool!

I can't really think of many things that are more fun than that.

More later.

xo

What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?

I grew up in the Fraser Valley, we moved to a brand new subdivision nestled in some of the most beautiful fertile farmland in the world. The valley is surrounded by mountains and our neighbourhood was surrounded on all sides by water including the mighty Fraser river and a series of sloughs and creeks. Besides all of the new houses and streets carved into what was formerly acres and acres of farmland there were also working farms, horses, cornfields and cows, lots of cows. Fortunately when they decided to subdivide this beautiful land they chose to keep a lot of it as it was, forever. Behind our back fence there was fields, fields of corn or corn stubble or cows, lots of cows. When the cows weren't grazing in the field they were in the barn or when the corn was growing in the field the cows lived at the farmers barn at his house abou 1/4 mile down the road.

Lots of cows means lots of cow shit. When the cows were living in the barn the farmer would gather all the shit and put it in some sort of holding tank. I was never in 4H or anything so I don't know what the farmer did to the shit to make it liquified but before the field was tilled and planted there would be a period of a couple of weeks when the farmer would spread his liquid gold on the field. Along came the Honey Wagon.

The Honey Wagon was a lime green contraption pulled behind the tractor that literally flung liquid cow shit in a majestic arc for a good 20 feet behind it. The farmer had so much shit that the field would get many, many layers. My Dad used to say that it was really the only way for the farmer to deal with the amount of poo the cows produced and was really more about trying to get rid of it than the positive effects it had on the corn field. The corn the farmer grew in that field was inedible to humans, it was called "cow corn" and it was chopped up and used to feed the cows. That's right it's The Circle Of Life, start humming cheesy Elton John song.....now.

I wish I could describe the eye watering stench that we had to put up with during this time. It was a choking, pungent, cloying smell and just when you thought you couldn't stand it any more it got stronger. You could actually tase it in the air. And yet, I think we kind of got used to it. I only started to complain about it after I had moved away from home and would go back to visit my parents. I could hardly stand it.

To this day I can not drive by a field of cows without honking. I honk the whole time I'm driving by and those cows hardly ever even look up. Smelly jerks.

I also cannot drive past a golf course without honking, but that's another story.

Does anybody feel like a burger?

Is that all there is?

Sorry I didn't post anything yesterday. I wrote something and then chose not to post it. I didn't really think that anybody wanted to hear my whiny, pissy, pathetic rant about what a crappy, cold, rainy, shit filled day I had. Also, it was loaded with swears.
I really had to give myself an attitude adjustment and this morning I woke up feeling much better and ready to take on the world.
Superman's on holidays. That's to say he is not needed at the Justice League of America for the next two weeks. I think Aqua Man is taking over for him or something. Anyway, he's not going anywhere or anything just having some much needed down time and working on a few special, top secret projects. So he's here. All the time. It's awesome.
It's alright actually, I got a little glimpse of it this morning, he's more laid back, in a better mood, paying way more (too much?) attention to me, and he makes coffee every morning. Not to mention people who aren't working tend to be up for sex almost anytime. Nice! Today's only day two, talk to me in a week or so.
Check back this evening, I will be updating again. Maybe something will happen or I will have an interesting thought to write about. Or maybe you will just have to deal with another one of my stories about growing up. I apologise in advance...
Ask me a question. Ask me anything and I will answer. Help me out here.
The picture on my header was taken from the deck of our apartment during a brief moment of dryness. Nice view huh?

Should Vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Well friends it's been a pretty good weekend and I have the bags under my eyes to show for it. Friday night was spent at my dear friend's home discovering the flavours, textures and 101 things that can be done to make raw vegetables beautiful and delicious to eat. Not to mention the health benefits. Truly eye opening. This is not an easy adjustment to make and a lot of work to prepare but this meal was spectacular and super yummy. It opened my eyes and made me think about that whole meat thing. You will notice all the wine on the table. Hey, grapes are raw food. Lots of great food and so much good conversation with some of my favourite gals. The night ended with drunken WiiFit and Mario Cart. Wii=FUN.




Saturday night was spent with my BFF from when I was 13 years old. We don't get the chance to see each other as much as we used to but every time we get together it's like no time has passed. We wandered a couple of blocks down the street to see Superman's band and sat and drank a few beers with some good folks in the neighbourhood. The boys rocked the house and a good time was had by all. It turned into a late night after all with an early morning for some reason. That called for a wake up call of lots of strong coffee eggs, hash browns and farmer sausage. Yum.

I spent the rest of the day puttering around and being on call for work. Eventually it started to feel like dinner and I was feeling pretty homey. Did I mention that I live above a gourmet grocery store? I know. Did I mention I live right next door to a liquor store? Did I mention I live half a block from my work. Yes, I have a charmed life but I planned it that way dammit!

When I start feeling all homey it's almost always Chicken Stew and Dumplings. I am famous for my Chicken Stew and Dumplings, for real. I picked up some free range boneless, skinless chicken thighs carrots, onion, celery (the leafy parts have the most flavour). I cheated a bit and bought a can of sweet corn and a can of sliced mushrooms. These ingredients vary a lot when I make this dish. Today I was feeling pretty lazy so this is the easy-peasy version.

I cut the chicken into just bigger than bit size pieces, dredged them in seasoned flour and got them browning in the frying pan. Then I add the onions, carrot, celery and some garlic and let it all start working together. Within a couple of minutes our home smells amazing.






Once things get good and friendly in the pan I de-glaze with chicken stock or water or in this case the water from the can of sweet corn, add the shrooms and those fabulous baby red potatoes that have been showing up in the store the last couple of weeks. I added a little more water and put the lid on until it boiled over and made a mess on the stove top. You can skip that step if you want. Don't forget to season after every new ingredient is added and taste it from time to time to make sure it is just right. I usually use just sea salt and fresh ground pepper, you can add any herbs you like but to be honest I don't think it needs anything fancy. I have used white wine, rosemary, sage etc. but I really don't think it's necessary. The most important part is the onion, carrot celery combo, that's where the aroma and flavour come in the most.

Usually I mix my dumplings up and throw them on top but I used too shallow of a pan, no room for dumplings so I made biscuits.
I'm going to give you my dumpling recipe anyway. Okay, not MINE but the one I use.
DON"T LIFT THE LID FOR 15 MINUTES! I can't stress this enough , people.


I decided on biscuits and as soon as I got into making them I realized I only had 1 cup of flour and I needed 2. I searched high and low and decided to try substituting pancake mix for flour. I looked pretty floury. The dough came together pretty well and baked up well and I have to say...fluffiest biscuits ever! Not the prettiest but very yummy and fluffy for days. What a relief.

I thickened the gravy up a bit with a little milk and flour and here is the result.






Here's Superman diggin' in. I think he may have shed a tear. Leftovers for tomorrow. Yay!



That's it folks, good friends, good food, good night.
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday night and don't forget to tell me...

What's your favourite comfort food?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

I am at a loss this morning. It's down right cold in here and I wonder how we managed to get fall weather in spring. I'm having a hard time warming my brain up and writing something interesting.

Superman has become obsessed with my blog. I know, real writers and people who have been doing this before it was cool don't call it a blog. I call this a blog. Anyway, every time something even remotely interesting or funny or outrageous happens he asks me if I'm going to blog about it. When he misbehaves or acts like a jerk I warn him that I am going to blog about him. "I'm gonna say bad stuff about you on my blog." Then he quotes back nice things that I wrote about him. 'You said I was a lovely man."..and he is, when he's not being a jerk-ass.

Hi Honey! I know you're reading this.

Okay, how about a story?

When I was a really little kid I was obsessed with The Tommy Hunter Show.

"For 27 consecutive years on television "The Tommy Hunter Show" brought wholesome family entertainment into living rooms all across this great country.Whether they watched from a home on the rocky shores of Prince Edward Island, from a high rise apartment in downtown Toronto, or from a remote farm house on the Prairies, families came to know Tommy Hunter as a true friend. " They forgot to mention the Fraser Valley, British Columbia's Green Heart country suburbs. It was also the longest-running nationally-broadcast country music show in North America. (1965 -1992).

Tommy hunter really was my true friend. My Mother tells the story of how we would gather round the TV and devour The Tommy Hunter Show every week. I think it was on a weeknight and it went a little later than my official bedtime. The deal was when Tommy Hunter was over I had to go straight to be. I actually remember sitting with my nose up to the screen and when Tommy said "Good night everybody" I would say good night back and run to bed. I didn't need to be told twice.

Around this time my Dad worked as the assistant manager of Woolworth's department store. This was the only real department store in town and had been around for a long time. He also ran the sporting goods department there before he left and opened his own shop a few years later.

Anyway, it came to pass that Tommy Hunter was promoting a new album and was coming to Chilliwack to play and make some public appearances. My Mom and Dad told us we were going to get a chance to meet him in person and I was just so excited. I must have had a picture of him to sign or maybe a record but those things are long gone. Too bad. Tommy Hunter came to Woolworth's to meet the public an a Saturday afternoon and there were a lot of people there. I remember waiting for him and just being so excited to meet "Canada's Country Gentleman". I loved this man. When it was finally my turn to meet him, I walked up to him, he said hello and signed something for me and that was that.

My parents asked me what I thought about meeting Tommy Hunter. All I could say was, "That wasn't Tommy Hunter." They did everything they could to try and convince me but I was so sure I had been duped and all that waiting around was for nothing.

I think I was 5 or 6 and I guess without make-up and his fancy suit and guitar, and everybody looks taller on TV, or shorter, I don't know. He was just...different.

My Tommy Hunter was black and white. I didn't need to see him in colour with all his human qualities. I believe I chose to think that I never really met Tommy Hunter. Not my Tommy Hunter.

I still do love him.

Have you ever been disappointed meeting someone special in person?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

When I was 15 years old my older brother started a band with two guys who are also brothers. The idea was that they would put together a country and western band for their sisters wedding. The guys used to rehearse in our basement because our parents were cool about that type of thing. They honestly enjoyed having assorted bad teenage bands in the basement on Saturday afternoons. Afterwords my Dad would say things like, "That drummer doesn't really know how to keep time too well." or "I think you need a new guitar player." He was usually right.

Being 15 and already being a somewhat experienced singer, I was hanging out a lot and learning all the words to the songs. Of course when the singer they had in mind for the band dropped out I told them I would sing for them until they found someone else. So there I was singing country classics at the age of 15, singing about heartache and love and drinkin' and never having experienced any of those things. I did develop a powerful crush on the drummer who was about 10 years older than me, but that's another story. After the first rehearsal the guys decided that I would be the new singer for The Ramblin' Rose Band and we had exactly one gig, the wedding, and we would learn enough material to do the whole reception.

When the wedding day finally arrived we were as ready as we could be. I had to sing the first waltz for the newly married couple, Can I Have This Dance (For The Rest Of My Life). I was so nervous in the beginning but as the night wore on it was getting more and more fun, the crowd was getting into it pretty heavily and I discovered my new calling. The reception ended up being an epic party that went late into the wee hours with lots of drinking and bridesmaids getting felt up and people telling each other what they REALLY thought of each other. I figure I sang for about 4 hours straight and I think when we ran out of material we just started at the beginning of the set list and played them all again. I loved every minute of it!

After the wedding the guys thought we should continue with the band and see if we could get some more gigs. One of the brothers lined up a bunch of shows in a row at a series of Legion Halls around the province that would require us to go on the road for a few days. I couldn't believe my luck. I mean this is exactly what I wanted to be doing. I figured I would go on the road for a while, who cares about school, I'd hone my chops and be a star by the time I could legally get in bars at 19. My parents were not so excited. They were dubious at first and never really agreed to any of it but things seemed to move forward anyway with me in denial and knowing it would all work out.

The weekend before the "tour" my brother was out for a jog at night in a local park. Running down a path, minding his own business when he was stopped short by an almost invisible chain pulled across the path. When your legs stop moving and the rest of you doesn't the natural thing to do is to throw your arms in front of you to stop your face from hitting the ground. When a person falls that hard with their arms straightened in front of them the results can be devastating. In his case it resulted in multiple fractures to BOTH elbows. He came home from the emergency room with both arms in casts crossed over his chest. Needless to say my Country and Western career was over for a while. The tour was cancelled.

Years later I sustained an almost identical injury to one of my elbows involving roller skates and homegrown. Sitting in the local Emergency room the doctor came in to give me the bad news. He said it was broken and it would require surgery eventually. I was crushed. In a bid to make me feel better the Doctor said, "Don't feel too bad, a couple of years ago I had a guy in here that broke BOTH his elbows!" He was talking about my brother.
Do you think things happen for a reason?

How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

I became an engaged woman around Christmas. I will spare you the romantic details but it was one of those "should we?" situations that ended in a "why not". It was a funny thing, Superman and I have been together for a mighty long time and we never really talked about marriage. I think the fact that we chose not to have children early on made marriage less of an issue for us. Now that we have decided to do it we have a million things to plan and organise. Or not. We've talked about quite a few ways we could do this but nothing really seems to stick and now it's looking like next summer makes more sense as far as planning and booking a place goes.

When I first realized it was going to happen I actually bought some bridal magazines! I never thought I would do that but I was getting kind of caught up in the whole"bride" thing and it was fun to think about. In reality I don't think I am, in any way a typical bride and Superman and I know that we are far from the typical soon to married couple. So, what kind of a wedding to people like us have?

I have no idea. This is what we know so far.

• Probably around 100 people.
• Close to home.
• Possible theme: Honky-Tonk
• We must have live music.
• We both want to perform, including Country -Married -Couple -Duets.
• We don't want to go into massive amounts of debt to do it.

That's about as far as we have come. I know none of this sounds very romantic but lets face it, wedding planning is just event planning and the overwhelming details can make a girl wonder...

What's wrong with being engaged for a couple of years?

Stay tuned right here for more details.

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

I just checked my facebook and there is an acquaintance on there who asked the question "Mr. Humorless Fuck*....wonders why any woman with a gram of intelligence/integrity would claim to relate to any of the characters in Sex in the City."

*not his real name.

Really! Do we have to defend everything we enjoy? How does relating to TV characters make us less intelligent or have anything to do with integrity?? I haven't seen the new movie yet but I am totally looking forward to it. Do I relate to any of the characters? Damn straight. Let's see, I live in a major city, I work in the fashion industry so I do actually get the fashion angle and yes I have spent way more than I should on shoes, drank too many martinis in an over priced bar and made poor decisions when it comes to men. I have a group of very close girlfriends, any one I could call right now and get the time of day about almost any issue I might have. Yes, we do talk about sex sometimes but recently found ourselves discussing how we work the household money when there are two of us and we don't bring home the same amount on our pay cheques. In the last little while we have also spent a lot of time discussing cancer, death, marriage, having babies, not having babies, fitness, depression, money, etc. Sometimes we are dressed up nicely when we discuss these things and sometimes we are in our track pants, or pajamas but if we were doing it on TV we would probably dress up more. We spend a lot of time laughing when we are together and as we get older we cry more too. The issues get heavier and more real and the shoes get less important. One thing for sure is we all have integrity and we all are intelligent people who may or may not enjoy Sex in The City but between all of the characters there is something almost anybody can relate too. Sure some of it is shallow and materialistic but so what. Intelligent women can tell the difference. As for Mr. Humorless Fuck, give us a break and stop taking yourself soooo fucking seriously. Don't worry, when we get together we're NOT talking about you. is that what really worries you?

I think statements like that really show a lack of respect for women and just reinforce the idea that beauty=stupid. And that TV shows are real.

You can be attracted to a woman who takes care of herself and puts some effort into her looks and also feel like she's lacking in integrity because she cares about how she looks. Or maybe you're hoping she's too stupid to notice that you are kind of a jerk.

Bah!

I mean, have a great day!!

Alright, just for spite I have to ask- Which one of the characters from Sex in The City do you relate to the most?

if you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Okay, so it took me all of Sunday to get over Saturday night. I'm not sure what that was about but man, I need to get into training if I want to keep up my regular summer drinking schedule. Summer is just around the corner after all and I can't be taking a whole day to get over one night of drinking.

I did manage to work out this morning so that's something. At the gym not the bar. It was hard. I haven't been doing it enough lately and I definitely felt it. We have a gym on each floor in the building we live in and that is so nice. It's just perfect for one person. It has a treadmill a stationary bike, a universal gym, free weights and one of those big balls. No excuses here. The only reason I don't work out every day is because I am a lazy, lame ass. There is no other reason and I can live with that. Soooo, today being Monday I am trying to start my week off right and get some damn exercise, eat some healthy meals and write here every day. Wow, it's good to have goals.

We have a nice flat screen TV in the gym too so I can watch whatever I want while I'm working out. This is a little embarrassing sometimes because people often walk by when I'm in there and I am not always proud of my viewing choices. Superman listens to Honky-Tonk Country Classics on the music channel while he works out. He listens to it LOUD too. It cracks me up because I always think about the next person coming in to the gym and switching on the TV only to have George Jones or Waylon Jennings singing about drinkin' and lovin'. I don't think ANY of that music was written to work out to. I, on the other hand have the TV tastes of a 14 year old boy. I love adult cartoons like The Simpson's and South Park and some of the newer ones like Frisky Dingo and Morel Oral. I enjoy Mad TV and Saturday night Live anything with a warning screen that comes on after the commercials. I realize I come by this the long way around, my family has always enjoyed this type of humour. I remember my brother and I saving up our money to buy Mad magazine and Cracked and Crazy too. I also remember staying up waaayy past my bedtime when I was pretty little to watch this new show called Saturday Night Live that my older brother had heard about. It was pretty cutting edge stuff back then. I would have been about 9 years old and my brother was 12ish. Oh well, just one more part of my goal to stay young and never completely grow up.

Another thing, how come every time I turn the TV on in the gym I have to change the ratio of the picture. Somebody always makes the picture go as big as it can go and everything looks all stretched out. I think some people just want to get there money's worth with those wide screens and fill up every space. Or maybe they just like working out and watching all the stretched out fat people on TV. Wow, that actually makes sense.

I know you thought I was going to ask you about your work out habits but trust me, I never will. Instead...

What's your favourite summer drink???

The one that you accidentally drink too much of and then fall down on. I myself am partial to a good Margarita and anything Martini makes me do crazy things.

did you get the number of that train?

Well, last nights gig went very well. The crowd was into it, lots of people we knew showed up too. That's always nice. The band was rockin' and tight and we all enjoyed ourselves. The train went by behind the band just when I sang the train song so I told everyone that we had planned it that way. A really good night all in all.
This morning is another story. I feel as though I might have actually been run over by that train. I've had 4 hours sleep and that Chinese food I ate at 2 am is giving me a tummy ache now.
Superman ran into a friend from waaay back and lamented on how he was getting so old. I tell him all the time he's better looking every year as a lot of men do tend to age well and get more handsome, in my opinion. Then he turned to me with our heads on the pillow and told me I looked beautiful. Right then, with 4 hours sleep and hung over and all. He said he thought I was aging very well. That means a lot because we have been together since I was in my early 20's, back when I had no wrinkles and was quite a bit *ahem* thinner. That's one of the reasons I want to marry Superman, he doesn't see so well in the morning. And the buns of steel, obviously.
Did you get the number of that train?